Bath Time!
by Whisperwill
Summary: Set during Kanto, first season.  In more ways than one, Ash discovers that he bit off more than he can chew when he resolves to give all his pokemon a bath.  One shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own _Pokemon_, although I love it, obsess over it, and generally spend too much time watching the anime, playing the game, reading the comic books, and writing fanfiction about it.**

**A/N: Set in the first season, before Charmander evolved into Charmeleon. Although I have an embarrassing goof-up in this story: Arbok and Weezing are in it, although they didn't evolve until _after_ Charmander became a Charmeleon. Sorry! Apart from that, please enjoy. And please review!**

**Bath Time!**

As battles go, this one had ended pretty well. Considering that he and his friends had been surrounded by umpteen wild Grimers and ten or so Muks, Ash felt that the three of them had commanded their pokemon brilliantly. Onix, Geodude, Vulpix, Zubat, Staryu, Starmie, and Horsea had really outdone themselves. And as for his own pokemon—Pikachu, Charmander, Squirtle, Pidgeotto, and Bulbasaur—well, they had been just great. They always were.

The trouble was, when the battle was over, Ash and his friends were left with a whole lot of stink. Misty clapped a hand over her mouth and nose as they were walking away from the Grimer colony.

"Eeew, Ash, what's that smell?" she asked, her voice muffled by her fingers. "It's like the Muks are still right next to us!"

Ash shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe we have to get farther away."

But after they had walked until the Grimers' beloved cesspool was a mere patch in the distance behind them, it was clear that they weren't leaving the stink behind.

"I think it's your pokemon!" Misty accused Ash, pointing her finger at him with one hand still clamped firmly over her mouth.

"_My_ pokemon?" Ash bristled. "I think it's _yours_!"

"There's an easy way to settle this," Brock reasoned, placing himself between his two arguing comrades. "Let's just find out where the smell is coming from."

"Right!" Misty and Ash said together, throwing every pokeball they had in a frenzy of movement. Brock let out his pokemon, too, and when the three trainers ran a sniffing check, all of them came up clean—except the five that belonged to Ash.

"I knew it!" Misty exclaimed in triumph. Ash glared at her while returning all his pokemon to their balls except Pikachu.

"Well, my pokemon battled the hardest, that's why," he declared, stubbornly refusing to come out second-best in their argument. Misty bared her teeth at him in an Arbok-fanged scowl, and they might have started bellowing at one another all over again if Brock hadn't stepped in to ask,

"Well, Ash, what are you going to do about it?"

"Yeah, we can't walk in the middle of this stink all day!" Misty chimed in. "It'll make my hair curl!"

"I know just what I'm going to do," Ash said to Brock, ignoring Misty. He pulled out a big metal washtub and carried it over his head to a stream through the trees. "I'm going to give them all a bath."

He filled the tub to brimming and staggered with it back to Brock, who helped him start a fire and suspend the basin over it to warm. When the water had heated to a pleasant temperature, Ash heaved it away from the flames and plunked it down.

"Now, come on out—Squirtle!" He threw his pokeball and released the turtle pokemon. Squirtle's bright-eyed smile got even bigger when Ash announced, "Come on, Squirtle, you're taking a bath." Squirtle plunged into the water eagerly and floated on his back. While Ash got out a brush and began scrubbing his pokemon's belly, Squirtle lay squirting water lazily from his mouth. Ash scrubbed him all over, and Squirtle enjoyed every minute of it. In fact, he looked disappointed when Ash told him that he had to get out to give the next pokemon a turn.

"It's okay, Squirtle—see, look over there, there's a stream. You can swim in it as much as you want," Ash promised him. Squirtle brightened, jumped out of the tub, raced to the stream, and jumped in. Ash grinned fondly after him, then pulled out another pokeball and shouted, "Charmander, go!" And out came Charmander. "It's time to give you a bath, Charmander," Ash announced. The fire pokemon cringed away from the sight of the water-filled basin.

"Charman!" he protested timidly.

"I know you don't like getting wet, Charmander, but you need to have a bath," Ash explained. "And I promise, your tail flame won't get wet." He stroked Charmander's head and gently murmured, "It'll be okay."

With Ash's reassurances, the fire pokemon submitted to a bath, or rather a sponge bath. He stood tensely on the grass while Ash rubbed soap all over his orange skin. Ash was very cautious as he rinsed his pokemon, trickling water over him with the greatest care and holding Charmander's tail well out of the way.

When he was done, Ash lifted Charmander onto a sun-warmed boulder to dry. "There you go, Charmander." The orange pokemon curled up, contented, as Ash unhooked a third pokeball from his belt and threw it. "I choose you—Pidgeotto!" His pokemon appeared in a blaze of white light. "Pidgeotto, bath time!" Ash said. At these words, the bird pokemon's eyes widened in alarm, and he flapped his wings in a rush to get away. He would have escaped, too, if Ash hadn't acted quickly and made an impressive leap to catch him before he got out of reach. Ash caught Pidgeotto around the middle and was almost lifted off his feet as his pokemon's wings beat harder than ever. "C'mon, Pidgeotto," Ash grunted, stumbling over to the basin with difficulty, his arms still stretched fully upward. With a considerable amount of panting and effort, he managed to force his pokemon into the bathwater. Brock, Misty, and Pikachu sat watching with interest as Ash worked soapy lather into Pidgeotto's feathers. It was not at all easy to do: every couple of seconds, Pidgeotto made a fantastic struggle to get free, splashing water all over himself and Ash in the process. Every time, Ash would grit his teeth and pin the pokemon down and continue lathering. When Pidgeotto was covered in soap, Ash began rinsing him down. Water seemed to go everywhere at once, and when Ash was finished, Pidgeotto flew off with a spray of droplets and a furious screech.

Ash sat down for a moment with his tongue lolling out, simply taking a breather. But before long he was on his feet again, lugging the mostly-empty tub to the stream to refill it and rehang it

over the fire. Then he took it off the heat and set it down some distance away.

"Bulbasaur, go!" he gasped out, throwing his fourth pokeball, and his pokemon emerged. Bulbasaur didn't look too happy when Ash told him that he was going to be given a bath, but the grass pokemon was too dignified to put up a struggle as Pidgeotto had. He stood staidly in the washtub and merely gave a "Bulbaaa" of irritation while he was encased in suds and deluged in water. After Ash hoisted him out, he went to lie on the grass near Charmander and sunbathe.

Ash sat back on his heels and called his final pokemon. "Pikachu! Your turn now."

Pikachu sat bolt upright in dismay. "Pikaa!" he protested, shaking his head wildly.

Ash grinned crookedly. "Sorry, Pikachu. You need a bath just as much as everyone else—maybe more." But now Pikachu's uneasy grimace had turned into a stubborn frown. He shook his head so adamantly that his ears flapped. Ash got up and came toward him. "Come on, Pikachu, it's not so bad," he said comfortingly as he reached out to pick the little rodent pokemon up. Pikachu darted just out of reach at the last second.

"Pikaa!" he repeated. Apparently Pikachu thought baths were much worse than his trainer was making them out to be. Ash followed him again.

"Pikachu. . ." he called with evident annoyance. Pikachu scurried once more out of reach. Ash came at him more quickly, but Pikachu only sped up. Soon they were racing around the clearing while Brock, Misty, Pidgeotto, Bulbasaur, Charmander, and Squirtle looked on. At one point, Ash seemed to have won when he made a dive for Pikachu and managed to catch his pokemon by the tail. Pikachu gave a cry of alarm and used his Thunderbolt attack, causing Ash to go rigid and release his hold.

"All right, if that's the way you want to play it," he said darkly to his pokemon, spinning around and walking back to the basin. Pikachu seemed to think he'd escaped Ash's clutches, but the next moment, Ash was racing toward him wearing a pair of rubber gloves. The electric pokemon squeaked and tore off in the opposite direction with Ash hard on his heels. Ash threw himself onto his stomach and caught Pikachu around the waist. His pokemon shouted a plea of "Pika!" and used his Thunderbolt again, but the electricity couldn't penetrate through the gloves. Ash gave a satisfied chuckle and carried Pikachu to the washtub, where he dumped him into the water.

"You can't use your electric attacks now, Pikachu," he pointed out somewhat smugly. "You're all wet." Pikachu glared at him and leaped remarkably high into the air. Ash caught him by the scruff and returned him to the water, where he began scrubbing his pokemon in earnest. Pikachu kept up an angry stream of pokemon language the whole time, but it didn't do him a bit of good. With all Ash's rubbing, Pikachu quickly seemed to turn into a ball of suds. After washing his pokemon, Ash rinsed him with a veritable mini-waterfall, causing Pikachu's yellow fur to be slicked flat and cling to his little body. Finally, Ash released his firm hold on the electric pokemon, and Pikachu sprang free of the washtub and ran a safe distance away even while shaking the water off himself. His glare proved that he had yet to forgive his trainer. Ash, for his part, stretched out on his back to rest. He had gotten at least as wet as—and far more tired than—any of his pokemon.

But his respite was not to be, for at that moment a dramatic shout came from the stream.

"Prepare for trouble!"

Ash lifted his head wearily to see Jessie and James of Team Rocket paddling a crude raft upstream at top speed. Their Meowth sat between them, urging them to row faster but sparing no energy to help.

"Make it double!" James panted from where he sat hunched over the raft's side.

"You mean that you're _bent_ double and _having_ trouble?" Misty commented sarcastically.

Either Team Rocket failed to hear her, or they were just ignoring her, for they continued on without a pause.

"To protect the world from devastation!" Jessie proclaimed, striking a glamorous pose.

"To unite all peoples within our nation," James joined in with a masculine pose of his own. But now that the dynamic duo had abandoned their oars, the raft was swept downstream before they could get any further. Jessie and James blinked with confusion as the current pulled them out of earshot of Ash and his friends. But just as Ash was hoping that he wouldn't have to deal with the two villains today, they came back into view, paddling harder than ever.

"To denounce . . . the evils . . . of truth and love!" Jessie shouted between gasps of exertion.

"To extend—our reach—to the stars a-bove!" James yelled, panting, if that were possible, more heavily than Jessie.

"Jessie!" Jessie screeched with less than her usual flair.

"James!" James bellowed with a marked decrease in his typical charisma.

"Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!" Jessie declared.

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" James finished.

"Meowth—that's right!" Meowth added. But Team Rocket didn't look very formidable at

this point. They had now produced poles, and all three of them had shoved the poles into the sandy bottom of the stream in an attempt to keep their raft stationary. Add this to the fact that they were all red-faced and gasping for breath, and they didn't seem remotely threatening.

"Could you guys come back some other time?" Ash asked hopefully, laying his head back down. "I'm really tired right now."

"Oh, what a shame," Jessie said in a voice heavy with sarcasm. James, on the other hand, took the opposite reaction.

"Okay, we'll just come back tomorrow," he offered obligingly.

"James!" Jessie screamed at him furiously. In a whirl of movement, she grabbed James by the arm and Meowth by the nape of his neck. The next Ash saw, the three of them had zipped inexplicably to shore. "We're not going anywhere, twerp—not till we get that Pikachu," Jessie said menacingly. In his current vein of behaving in direct contrast to Jessie, James zoomed over and scooped up Pikachu with a bright smile all over his face.

"Oooh, what a perfectly well-groomed and squeaky clean Pikachu!" he gushed. "Its fur is positively radiant, with a bright yellow hue that shines . . ." But whatever he had been about to say was swallowed up in a surge of thunder as Pikachu let loose with his electricity. James fell to the ground without changing position, as though he were made of stone. Pikachu hopped free as Ash leapt to his feet.

"You're not getting your hands on Pikachu!" he shouted angrily. "Charmander, Pidgeotto, Squirtle, Bulbasaur—go!" Bulbasaur ran to Pikachu's side, and Charmander jumped down from his rock to join them. Squirtle scrambled out of the stream and ran over, while Pidgeotto fluttered down from above, where he had been perching sullenly in a tree. Ash's pokemon were still generally displeased with him, but they knew it was serious now.

"Go, Arbok—Likitung!" Jessie retorted, throwing her two pokeballs. Then she roared in James's face, "Quit lying down on the job, James!" James quickly revived himself and threw his pokeballs, too.

"Weezing, Victreebel, go!" he cried. Over the confusion which resulted as Victreebel attempted to swallow James's head, Jessie turned to Meowth.

"Five on five makes it even—now get out there, Meowth," she ordered him.

"You won't catch _me_ out dere!" Meowth shot back. "Not for nuttin', nohow!" He folded his

paws over his chest petulantly. The force of Jessie's next gale nearly blew him off his feet.

"_Get out there and fight_!" Meowth hastily skittered forward to stand next to Arbok, Likitung, and Weezing, while James managed to extricate himself from Victreebel at long last.

Brock suddenly appeared on the sidelines in a pokemon official's uniform. "Battle begin!" he announced, waving a genuine Pokemon League flag. And all ten pokemon rushed forward.

"Victreebel, Vine Whip!" James commanded, while at the same time, Jessie yelled,

"Arbok, Poison Sting!"

"Bulbasaur, use your Vine Whip, too!" Ash countered. The two Vine Whips clashed together and wrapped around one another. Victreebel and Bulbasaur pushed one another with their Vines, but Bulbasaur was shoved slowly back. Meanwhile, Squirtle got hit with the Poison Sting mid-shell, and fell backwards with a groan.

"Charmander, use your Flamethrower!" Ash called out. "Hang in there, Squirtle—I know you can do it! Push as hard as you can, Bulbasaur, that's it! Pidgeotto, Gust! Pikachu, use your Thunder!" Squirtle struggled to his feet, and Charmander shot his Flamethrower toward Weezing, who managed to tilt himself aside. Bulbasaur was still being pushed back, but struggled mightily to resist. Pidgeotto used Gust to send Meowth careening backwards, and

Pikachu's Thunder Wave made a solid hit on Arbok.

"Weezing, Sludge Attack, now!" James barked. Weezing, still hurtling toward Charmander, shot quick bursts of sludge from his mouth. It looked as if Charmander was about to get peppered with them, but at the last second, Ash raced out and hefted the fire pokemon out of harm's way.

"I just washed these pokemon!" he yelled indignantly. "And you're not gonna get them dirty again!" Charmander seemed a little disappointed at not being allowed to battle without help, but James was beginning to smile an evil smile.

"You mean, don't use attacks like Sludge?" he asked. "Or Poison Gas? Or Smog?"

"Yeah!" Ash replied a little defiantly.

"Then you've come to the wrong place," James cried with a cackle. "Victreebel, Weezing, do your worst!" he commanded, pointing straight at Ash and his cluster of pokemon. Ash could only wave his hands frantically and shout,

"That's not fair!"

"You should know by now that Team Rocket always plays dirty!" Jessie said with a smirk. "Get in there, Arbok and Likitung—and don't think you can sneak off, you sneak!" she added to Meowth, who was in the process of tiptoing behind a bush. Meowth flinched and shot her his best Cheshire-cat grin before leaping into the fray. All five of Team Rocket's pokemon barreled toward Ash and his five pokemon. Ash made a superb fool of himself by scurrying around trying to keep his pokemon from getting dirty. Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Pidgeotto, and Charmander, on the other hand, were fighting at their best—and that without any help from their trainer. Even amidst all the confusion of a five-on-five pokemon battle, it was obvious that Ash's pokemon were gaining the upper hand. Squirtle had Weezing pinned against a tree with the unrelenting force of his Water Gun. Charmander and Pikachu advanced steadily, using their Flamethrower and Thunder Wave to drive Victreebel and Arbok back. Pidgeotto and Bulbasaur

kept their opponents hopping: every time Bulbasaur sent Likitung and Meowth running from his Razor Leaves, Pidgeotto herded the two Rocket pokemon back toward Bulbasaur with punishing blows from his Wing Attack.

Pikachu glanced sideways at Charmander and nodded his head. At the same time, Bulbasaur looked up to catch Pidgeotto's eye, and Pidgeotto passed the silent look on to Squirtle from overhead. The five of them began to concentrate their efforts on driving Team Rocket's pokemon together. Soon, Arbok, Likitung, Weezing, Victreebel, and Meowth were in a huddle, enclosed on all sides by Ash's pokemon. Then Charmander, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Pidgeotto, and Pikachu lined up side by side and used their most forceful attacks at the same time. Thunderbolt, Water Gun, Razor Leaf, Flamethrower, and Gust all slammed into the Rocket pokemon, throwing them against Jessie and James and throwing the Team Rocket trainers and their pokemon right back onto their homemade raft. Ash's pokemon raced as one to the stream, where they repeated their attacks and sent Team Rocket whisking downstream faster than a Ponyta could run.

"Why can't Team R ever get some R and R?" James was heard to complain as they vanished from view. Their last screech floated back on the breeze: "We're rafting off again!"

Ash was standing back under the trees, staring at his pokemon in surprise. "What just happened?" he muttered to himself.

"Your pokemon beat Team Rocket while you were running around like an idiot!" Misty informed him irritably. "That was the worst battling I've ever seen, Ash! Even _Psyduck_ can do better than you!"

"But my pokemon were great!" cheered Ash, who obviously had only caught the first part of what Misty had said. "You guys were amazing!" He raced over to his pokemon, but to his surprise, they edged away from him. Misty enlightened him as to why they were keeping their distance when she raged,

"And to top it all off, you smell like a Muk on a hot day!" Ash plucked at his collar and gave himself an uncertain sniff.

"She's right, Ash," Brock confirmed. "Guess you're the only one who got dirty in this battle." The five pokemon gave a collective start at Brock's words. Ash started to get a bit uneasy at the looks his pokemon were giving him. Pikachu had a wicked grin on his face, while Squirtle wore a smile that Ash hadn't seen him wear since his Squirtle Squad days.

"Uh . . . why are you all looking at me like that?" he asked nervously. Long Vines shot out from Bulbasaur's bulb and wrapped around Ash's torso, pinning his arms to his sides. "Hey! What are you doing?" His indignant cry went totally unacknowledged as the five pokemon burst into activity. Pidgeotto swooped down to nip his beak around the brim of Ash's cap and carry the prized hat off. Squirtle filled the washbasin all over again with water from his mouth. Charmander blasted flames at the tub's base. Bulbasaur walked over to them in a leisurely fashion, carrying Ash high in the air with his Vine Whip attack. Pikachu was scurrying around gathering up the bar of soap and the scrub brush, which had both been dropped in the confusion of the pokemon battle.

"Put . . . me . . . down!" Ash grunted out while struggling to free himself from the Vine Whips. He was temporarily taken aback when Bulbasaur set him on the ground and partially retracted his two Vines.

"Bulba! Bul!" Bulbasaur laughed while poking Ash with his Vine Whips.

"Pika! Pi!" Pikachu joined in, butting Ash lightly with his head. Squirtle and Charmander crowded closer and pushed against his legs.

"This—isn't funny!" Ash blustered as Pidgeotto flapped down to hover right next to his head and brush his wings against Ash's face. The other four of them hemmed him in from the ground. Like Team Rocket before him, Ash was discovering that it was next to impossible to stand up against five pokemon at once. When they had driven him so close to the basin that he couldn't go any farther backward without tripping into it, he threw up his hands and let out a roar of frustration.

"Okay! I get it! You win!" He yanked his vest off and tossed it aside, then began to pull his T-shirt over his head. Nearby, Misty started to blush.

"Ash!" she scolded him. "There's a lady present!" Immediately Brock was at her side, peering in all directions with his hand shading his eyes.

"Where? Where?" he asked hopefully. Whereupon Misty, of course, smacked him in the head and knocked him flat.

"Well, the _lady_ doesn't have to look." The sarcastic emphasis Ash placed on the second word caused Misty to storm off in a huff. Meanwhile, the trainer from Pallet Town, having already slipped out of his jeans, was hopping around on one foot to get his shoe and sock off. He did the same with the other foot, and was finally down to nothing but his boxers.

"Do your worst," he muttered glumly. The five pokemon were only too happy to do so. Bulbasaur encircled Ash's waist with his Vine Whips, lifted him up, and set him down in the water. Squirtle hosed him down with his Water Gun. Pikachu went gung-ho with the soap, rubbing it over Ash's hair for such a long time that the bar was eventually decreased to half of its original size. Squirtle took the brush and scrubbed Ash's stomach the same way Ash had done

to him earlier.

"Hey, easy on the head!" Ash complained as Pikachu began washing his hair. "I only have one!"

The five pokemon took great pleasure in bathing their trainer as thoroughly as he had bathed them. Bulbasaur lifted and turned Ash this way or that with his Vines so that Squirtle and Pikachu could scrub and rub nearly every conceivable inch of their trainer between them. Then Squirtle drenched Ash with his Water Gun again to leave a very irritable pokemon trainer standing dripping on the grass.

"Saur Bulba-saur!" called Bulbasaur. He hoisted Ash high up into the air. Pidgeotto gave an answering cry and left his tree branch, where he had been solemnly guarding Ash's hat. The flying pokemon flapped down and released a powerful Gust from his wings. Bulbasaur's Vines snapped taut, and Ash jerked around at the end of the Vine Whips like a windsock. It was quite an effective way to blow-dry him, but when the wind ceased, it left Ash woozy.

"Hey, Ash, I did your laundry!" Brock called to him. Ash was busy stumbling in circles. When his head finally cleared, he ambled over and fingered his vest wonderingly. It was as clean as it had ever been; all the spatters of Sludge were gone.

"How did you dry it so fast?" he wanted to know. Brock, with his hand over his chin and his leg propped on a log in the picture of macho, would only respond with,

"Trade secret."

"Hey, that's really neat. Thanks, Brock," Ash said. He redressed and shouted to Misty, "Hey, Misty!" The red-haired gym leader poked her head out from behind a tree with her palm over her eyes.

"Is it safe?" she asked, hesitant.

"Sure it's safe!" Ash laughed. Pidgeotto flew down to him with his hat, which Ash took from him and pulled over his head. The official Pokemon League cap made him feel empowered

whenever he put it on. It filled him with the sense that he could do anything—that he could fulfill all his dreams, no matter what the cost. He balled his hands into fists and grinned.

"C'mon everybody! I've got pokemon to catch, battles to win, badges to earn!" he shouted. His pokemon rallied around him eagerly, and Misty seemed happy too now that she didn't have to run from any odors. But then Brock had to ruin the spirit of things when he came up carrying the washbasin.

"Hey, Ash, where do you want me to put this?" he asked. The question, though well-meant, sent Ash racing off in the other direction with his arms shielding his head.

"Aaaah! Get that thing away from me! I don't ever want to see it again!"

o The End o


End file.
